


He Is Mine

by AVirtoMusae



Series: Meet the Family [14]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Failed Stag Nights, Family, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Wedding, Window escapes, elopement
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 09:02:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4429397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AVirtoMusae/pseuds/AVirtoMusae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Renly and Loras's stag nights and wedding. Who cares about months of careful planning?</p><p>{Can be read without having read the previous fics}</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Is Mine

**Author's Note:**

> My sincerest apologies for the delay. As a heads up, I will be without internet for a week. I will soon be getting to my collection of unanswered messages, and again, apologies for taking so long.

Renly did not like this at all. Why did his stag night have to be separate from his fiance? It was ridiculous. Part of him knew he should probably be okay with this, but he really needed the additional moral support because Jaime, Brienne, Guyard, Emmon, and the rest of his friends were really not enough to deal with a drunken Robert, an irritated Stannis, and a behaving-like-he-always-does Littlefinger.

Seriously, who had thought it a good idea to invite his brothers and co-worker?

Renly really wanted to bang his head repeatedly on the table. 

“Renly, is this place to your tastes?” Littlefinger asked with a smirk. The place was definitely not to his tastes. It was far too seedy, and there were far too many strippers and female prostitutes. He figured someone planned this so that he would drop dead the night before his wedding.

“More to yours, I think,” Renly retorted. Behind him, Brienne snorted. Jaime groaned. 

Littlefinger rolled his eyes. “You have horrible taste in best men then.”

Guyard flicked him off. “He has excellent taste, doesn’t he, Bryce?”

“Apparently not,” Bryce retorted. 

Renly definitely wanted to bang his head on something. Or bang someone else’s head against something. He was tending to lean towards the latter. At least someone else would be as miserable as he if he did that. 

This was really ridiculous. Really ridiculous. He was supposed to be ridiculously happy, not wanting to hurt something and generally miserable. That was not to say he was dreading the following day -- far from it. He was really looking forward to be married to Loras the next day -- ecstatic too. He just wanted it to be tomorrow already.

Just one more hour, and then he could make his excuses and flee. He couldn’t wait.

❋ ❊ ❋ ❊ ❋

Loras was not sure this qualified as a stag night (only in part because he was decidedly not with his stag). His father had organized it, which really said everything anyone actually needed to know about it -- it was lame and pathetic. Well, maybe that was unfair to his dad, but it was generous for the party.

He was stuck in a room with a bunch of cousins. He loved his family and his cousins, but they could be a bit much to deal with put all together in a room for an extended period of time. He could still remember getting kicked out of the house when they all came to stay because he was too much of a menace to deal with all of them. He was fortunate to have a boyfriend, now soon-to-be husband, who could take him in at a moment’s notice.

“Can we do something fun? Like get drunk?” Loras whined, pouting at anyone who would pay him attention. That number faced significant decreases almost instantaneously. Therefore, Loras was not entirely surprised when he was ignored.

The third course of the meal was served, and Loras glared at it with all the fury he could manage. He also was irritated when no one was concerned when he failed to eat it.

He sighed heavily and blew a stray strand of hair out of his eyes. One more hour, he told himself, and then dinner would change into something less dull.

❋ ❊ ❋ ❊ ❋

Renly was dismayed to find that he was not allowed to leave after an hour. In fact, his eldest brother had strictly forbidden it -- forbidden it in a way that involved locked doors and alcohol. Renly’s enjoyment of the celebration had decreased from zero to negative ten. He wasn’t sure that was even possible before now.

There were lapdancers now, and they all seemed highly intent on giving his eldest brother (he was the Prime Minister despite his quickly deteriorating looks) and the middle Baratheon brother (Renly shuddered at the very thought) and him lapdances. After the first one giving him a confused look when he wasn’t hard, Renly had decided to stand to save himself the trouble. 

The dancers still kept casting him sultry looks and fluttering their long eyelashes. Renly decided he felt sorry for them. This had to be an embarrassing experience for them, too, if their clients failed even to get hard. 

Renly looked around, and to his relief, he saw that both his brothers seemed distracted (one with studiously ignoring his wife and the other with fighting with his), and made a mad dash for the restroom door. When he entered, he was surprised to see Jaime and Brienne already there.

“Having a quickie?” he asked with a smirk. He could tell perfectly well that they were making a run for it just like he was. 

Brienne blushed so red that her freckles completely disappeared. Jaime just rolled his eyes at Renly. “And that’s why you ran here with your right hand then?”

“Not all of us can lose ours so easily,” Renly retorted, non-plussed by the dig.

Jaime put a hand on his chest. “Ouch, I’m hurt. I don’t see what that Tyrell boy sees in you.”

“And I still don’t see how sweet Brienne ended up with such an a-hole for a husband,” Renly rebutted.

“And yet, it still took her less time she decided she wanted to be with me forever than it took your Loras with you.” Renly was not violent, but he could see the appeal to smacking someone upside the head to get them to shut the fuck up. Brienne was looking from her husband to her best friend and looked like she wanted to disappear or make them get along.

“Look, can you just drive me to my flat? Please? I’ll owe you fifty,” Renly pleaded. Brienne looked at Jaime, begging for her friend.

Jaime scowled. “Fine.”

Renly would have hugged him had this not been Jaime Lannister.

Almost an hour later, they were pulling into a parking lot in front of the apartment complex. Renly had never been so glad to be home. He’d also never been so glad to see the man with curly blonde-brown hair walking towards him either. “Loras!”

❋ ❊ ❋ ❊ ❋

Loras was not aware that dinners were able to be this long. Seriously. Awkward dinners lasting ten minutes were one thing, but ten hours (a bit of a hyperbole, but Loras was beginning to doubt that it would stay that way) was something else entirely. Loras bounced his knee, trying to ignore the stare Olenna Tyrell had fixed on him.

In fact, Loras had fixated so much on avoiding his grandmother’s unimpressed gaze that he had missed that of his sister. “Sit still, Loras!”

Loras growled under his breath and did not cease moving. “I’ll do what I like. Seriously, I thought this was a bachelor’s party not a political dinner!” Part of him hoped that he had not been loud enough for anyone but his sister to hear. 

It seemed that, miraculously, he was. “Dad went through all this effort. Appreciate it?”

“Margy, this is ridiculous,” Loras insisted. To that, Margaery only shrugged. “I’ll cover for you, and you sneak out?”

Loras nodded. “Good plan. Bye!” He was up and out of his seat without even asking permission (that would irk his grandmother for sure),

About half an hour later, he was walking from his car to the apartment complex when he heard his fiance shout, “Loras!”

Loras grinned and ran the rest of the way from his car to Renly before pulling him into a kiss. “Gods, you don’t know how happy I am to see you.”

Renly laughed. “I think I do. I just spent hours -- _plural_ hours -- with my family in a place I didn’t want to be. Why the fuck do they have to be at our wedding? It’s not like they like us much anyway.” Renly was aware of how whiny he sounded.

Loras raised his eyebrows and instinctively brushed a stray strand of Renly’s hair from his face. “I just spent like eight hours at a family dinner, the kind where all million-and-a-half cousins are there and it’s all awkward.”

Renly grimaced in sympathy. “Please tell me that they aren’t invited to the wedding. This was going to be a small wedding, right? The reception was the only part where everyone was going to be invited.” Renly gave Loras a wide-eyed look. Loras’s family still intimidated him when all of them got together.

Loras looked equally worried. As much as they loved grand affairs (Which is why they were planning the reception to be one), they wanted their actual ceremony to be intimate. “I don’t know.” He paused. “Shit.”

“Agreed.” Renly ran a hand through his hair, further rumpling it. “How likely is it that you would agree if I said we should just go elope at the Water Gardens?” Renly pouted at Loras in a way that always made Loras’s heart melt.

“Highly unlikely,” Loras answered, and he nearly laughed at Renly’s put out expression. “But, that’s because my grandmother would figure out where we went too easily. What if we ran off to Lys?”

Renly floundered for a second before shrugging. “Let’s get the tickets?”

Loras nodded, and he could feel the butterflies dancing around in his stomach. Eloping, he was discovering, was much more nerve-wracking than just getting married the regular way. Hand in hand, they walked inside the building to the elevator to go up to their apartment. They didn’t even begin looking at tickets until a good half hour later.

❋ ❊ ❋ ❊ ❋

Renly was a bit surprised at how long it took to get to Lys (considering he’d never really been off Westeros), and about seven hours later, he and Loras were picking up their checked luggage from the Lyseni International Airport. 

“So, do we go get someone to officiate now, or do we drop off our stuff first?” Renly asked. Loras decided on the former mostly because he wanted to be married to Renly ASAP. Therefore, they spent the next fifteen minutes in the hot sun trying to avoid crashing into other people on the sidewalks and not getting pick-pocketed on the way to the courthouse. Renly was much more surprised that they made it all in one piece than Loras was.

Unfortunately, Loras was much more surprised than Renly at the behavior of the officiant. The officiant, a guy named Tregar Ormollen, had literally hissed, “As if I’m going to marry two guys together. It might be legal, but fuck, no. You’re denying yourselves a life of pleasure with women.”

“I find I am perfectly okay with that,” Renly quipped, just as Loras’s fist hit the would-be officiant’s cheek. Renly was just about to pull Loras out of the courthouse (before police could arrive) when a woman with blonde hair walked in.

“Tregar, really? This is my nephew,” the woman scolded. Renly turned to Loras and had an eyebrow raised skeptically. Loras looked just as confused as Renly. “I’m Lynesse Hightower, this idiot’s girlfriend. Fortunately, I am able to officiate your wedding too. Do you have your license?”

Renly nodded and handed her the document. She scanned it quickly. “Say your vows, quickly now.”

“Umm,” Renly managed. Loras punched him in the arm. “Gods, I was going to have something all poetic, but oh, well, this will be done on the fly. So, I love you, and I will be there with you forever with the goods and the bads, and I’ll never leave you, and I won’t give in to the expectations of others when I’m with you. I love you.”

Loras grinned, and Renly was sure that both their eyes were watering. Loras pulled him into a kiss. “I love you. You are the only person who knows all of me, and I want this to last forever.”

Lynesse grinned at them both and winked, “So now repeat, ‘And he is mine, and I am his.’”

Renly and Loras complied, enthusiastically, before snogging each other quite thoroughly. Lynesse had not even had the time to tell them to kiss and that they were officially married after Renly and Loras had exchanged hoodies in lieu of actual cloaks. 

“Right, you two need to leave now,” Lynesse declared, shooing Renly and Loras out the back.

❋ ❊ ❋ ❊ ❋

“YOU WHAT?!” Loras shouted at the hotel manager. The manager took a step back.

“I’m sorry, ser, the registration just must not have gone through,” the manager insisted, his voice trembling. He put up his hands between him and Loras. Loras could be very intimidating when he wanted to be.

Renly, before Loras had another chance to shout, interjected, “Do you have any free rooms.”

The manager shook his head.

“Right,” Renly mumbled. More clearly, he continued, “Any other hotel in the area got any vacancies?”

The hotel manager shakes his head.

“Damn it,” Renly grumbled before grabbing Loras’s hand and dragging him out into the street.

❋ ❊ ❋ ❊ ❋

They ended up in the alleyway that night. All the other hotels (and motels and such) were all full, and Renly was not willing to hop on another plane to who knows where in order to find a hotel, and they did not have a rental car to sleep in either. 

Renly grimaces and pulled Loras’s head into his lap and strung his fingers through the curls. Renly could feel Loras beginning to fall asleep and smiled. He could get used to the whole “married” thing. Just then, Loras’s phone buzzed, and Loras jumped, glancing around wildly. The phone rang again, and Loras answered, “Yes?”

“Loras! Where are you? We drove down to the Water Gardens since you and your fiance clearly decided to elope, but we cannot find you.”

Loras laughed, sounding much less sleepy all of a sudden. “Because we ran off to Lys.”

There was the sound of a clicking keyboard. “Where are you staying?”

Loras just laughed and hung up the phone. “Tomorrow, let’s just fly to our honeymoon destination, okay?”

Renly nodded in quite enthusiastic agreement.

**Author's Note:**

> So, as always, name suggestions, pairing suggestions, and the like are always appreciated. Any other feedback is also loved!
> 
> As always, please pick your favorite from the following:
> 
> {1} Garlan and Leonette send their kids off to school for the first time. It only sort of goes as planned  
> {2} Tommen makes up a story about his kittens -- the five time he tries to tell it and fails and the one time he succeeds  
> {3} Mariah and Tommen through teenage and early twenties -- how their relationship evolves  
> {4} Myrcella and Bethany become friends, to the dismay of all parents involved  
> {5} Sansa teaches Margaery to cook (mostly based off my kitchen misadventures, but any stories you'd like to have included are welcomed)  
> {6} Willas and Oberyn try to watch a movie on historical relations between Dorne and the Reach  
> {7} Cat and Ned interrogate their children's significant others  
> {8} Davos runs a daycare center, and Stannis is forced to cover for him  
> {9} Five times Jon is seduced by criminals (a.k.a. Asha, Satin, Ygritte, Val, Alys, or whomever else you might want) during his internship  
> {10} Five times Bethany tried to seduce Podrick and failed and the one time she succeeded  
> {11} Five times Joy Hill thought Marcyl was a whiny ass and the one time she didn't  
> {12} Catelyn runs across Jojen and Meera smoking, and freaks out, but she freaks out even more when she is goes to tell Bran and finds him smoking with them  
> {13} How Robb and Theon got together  
> {14} Five times Arry and Gendry broke up and the one time they really didn't  
> {15} Margaery and Sansa want to have a nice date, but family calls keep interrupting them  
> {16} Five times Margaery tried to propose to Sansa, and the one time Sansa proposes to her  
> {17} Renly and Loras decide to troll the Baratheon-Lannister clan  
> {18} Five time Jaime and Brienne couldn't see eye-to-eye and the first time they did
>
>> A Virto Musae  
> By the Virtue of the Muse


End file.
